Tonight was supposed to be a good night.

Well I was all excited to come home and upload a new movie onto my USB drive to watch on my fancy TV and 360. The movie was The Fall. All I heard was good things, though I never read anything about it myself. I probably should have. It was a depressing movie, but overall tried to be overly artsy, which at some parts on their own were interesting and colourful, but mostly just were confusing and boring. It was hard to follow and generally didn't make a lot of sense. That's the jist of it for me. I read a bit about it a little bit after on IMDB and it made me appreciate it slightly more, but I'm still very disappointed.

Anyway, it put me in one of those depressions where you feel it in your heart that you need to cry but just can't. I farted around on the internet for awhile - checked Facebook, my bank account, Verizon to see what I can up or downgrade to and when. The overwhelming sadness finally hit me when I was messing around trying to figure out how to sign into blogger again. I sent a request to my e-mail to get my user name. Logged into Yahoo, which for some reason decided to switch up their layout to be more like a Facebook type of site where you can keep your "friends" updated on your life. On the right side of the screen I then saw it - Yahoo telling me to get in touch with Arnold M. Uncontrollable tears started streaming down my face. Arnold M. was my grandfather. I still have his e-mail address in my address book. Yahoo was telling me to connect with my dead grandfather. My grandfather loved being on his computer. He loved sending those silly forwards with the angels and interesting pictures, I still have most of them saved. After he died, I often wondered about his e-mail account. Did my aunt's remember to discontinue it, or do people not know he is even dead? I sometimes want to e-mail the address just to see what would happen.

Before the stupid movie and stupid Yahoo, I was thinking of writing about silly upbeat things, such as sharting. I guess that's for another day. Especially since there's a House marathon on, that show always depresses me too. Maybe it's because of who and what I associate it with now. On top of the fact that I think this may be the season where Amber is a cast member and they kill her at the end. A very amazing and sad episode.

I just downloaded a movie "Wristcutters: A Love Story". Amazing and sad movie. I might go watch it now. It only took about 20 minutes to download though so I hope it doesn't depress me with it not being the actual movie.

I need to find something real to do with my life. I need to actually act on my thoughts and ambitions. I need to start saving money. I want to buy a home. That won't happen.

Sorry this was so depressing.